Ex affair partner wants to be friends

Added: Jazmin Pando - Date: 31.07.2021 15:15 - Views: 20118 - Clicks: 3807

In recent years our marriage has grown stale - my husband works shifts, and this means we Ex affair partner wants to be friends very little time together. We seem to have gradually drifted apart on both emotional and physical levels. I have made a life for myself and through this have recently had an affair which lasted a few months. At the outset we both agreed we would never leave our families and it was all to be a bit of fun. Famous last words I know as I definitely started to have feelings and instead of being fun it became a worry as I knew it would never come to anything, however somehow I didnt have the 6strength to end it because he made me happy and whenever he sensed this was how I was feeling he made it clear he wanted to continue - I made him happy too, and I genuinely felt he cared about me.

About Ex affair partner wants to be friends month ago the affair ended abruptly due to his wife suspecting. She threw him out initally although he is now back in the family home haviang convinced her it was all in her imagination. All contact between us ceased. I was heartbroken - not just for the loss of someone who had filled every day for the last few months, but for the upset from the fall out for all concerned. My extreme reaction at home, weeping all the time, meant my husband confronted me as he had suspected I was playing away, but he wasnt angry more concerned as he said he loved me unconditionally and was prepared to forgive and forget.

He said he understood people lose their way sometimes. He has said he is very hurt by what I have done and its the worst time of his life. My problem is now that despite my lover saying he would disappear from all the circles where we came into contact, he has now reappeared.

The first time was a complete shock for me and I could tell he felt awkward. I just kept communication light and kept my distance. In the last week he has gone out of his way to come over and speak to me -still small talk, no referrals to what we shared but the way he looked at me across the room made me think he still felt something. A close friend has said that its highly likely that the feelings we both had will exist for a while - the affair didn't end because those stopped, it was the circumstances.

My one wish was that our families wouldn't get hurt and that we could remain friends after it ended. I cant decide whether his recent behaviour is an acknowledgment of trying to go back to being platonic friends again. That said, it doesnt allow me to move on and try and work things out with my husband, who after all has been unbelievably understanding. And I realise I am deceiving my husband again now as I have not told him this person has surfaced again. So my question really is, can we go back to being friends - or is the fact that we have now crossed the line mean that this is realistically impossible.

Click to choose posts category Show expert posts Show community posts. Ask the community. I have been married for just under 20 yrs, with one daughter aged Healing your relationship after an affair. Article cheating, counselling. Affairs: a psychologist's perspective. The views expressed in this article are not necessarily shared by Click or OnePlusOne. Twenty years ago, I began an interview study of couples in which one person at least was having or had had an affair.

As a new parent, I could not fathom how contemporaries of mine had the inclination or energy, never mind the time, to conduct one. Yet affairs, even among new parents, were happening and some of these couples presented themselves to my consulting room. The discovery of an affair at any stage of the relationship is still a chief reason couples come into therapy. How do affairs start? The arrival of children, work taking one or both away into different worlds, not managing disagreements and conflicts and resentment building in consequence, all contribute.

Or all of these combined can lead to the start of an affair. The upshot of not catching things early is feeling misunderstood, neglected, unappreciated, unloved, or undesired. Drift sets in. With it goes hope and effort. Attention wanders. And couples find renewal arises away from home.

Affairs can begin — and sometimes remain, a remedy for what particular light has gone out: just about sex, just about fun, just about talking and feeling understood. This is related to how we understand marriage. But, as with all deep wounds, sometimes not. First I manage the wounds, and then return to the marriage: where, when, why the lights went out, before the wandering began. User article cheating, trust. I've just discovered my wife is having a sexual relationship with with her ex boss. This has torn my world apart completely. When she started working for this company five years ago she was warned about the sex mad owner.

I trusted her as our sex life wasn't great or very ambitious. She was never one for taking risk or trying anything new in the bedroom, and it wasn't for the want of asking on my behalf either. I offered everything from toys, group, partner swap, dressing up, role playing, outside - in fact, I think I tried most things without any joy.

Anyway I discovered messages on her phone around four months ago but left it and tried to find things out for myself. I had no luck and in the end just decided to come out with it and, hey presto, she came clean on everything. She said it started as friendship but led on to more things and they have been sleeping together for about six months now so she tells me.

She has broken down and is beside herself for hurting me after 14 years marriage and 20 years together. She says she doesn't know how it has led this far and also how it has continued as well, as she felt bad after every time My problem is the fact I feel I'm being laughed at - as he will see it as another notch, although she says not. She has lied to me for months about where she has been swimming, shopping, her sister's.

This and the fact someone else has had their hands on her makes me sick and I have been. Any one who knows please feel free to comment Ask the community cheating. I really need someone to put my life back on track, to turn me back into the mother and wife I once was After all, love is unconditional and as a mother, its my job to love, care and protect them. I didn't even ask a lot from my husband nor did he expect a lot from me. We were just in a good marriage, hardly any arguments between us and we took pride in our parenting and are proud of our beautiful, bright children.

It all started when a single dad at school confessed to me that he finds me attractive and admitted fancying me for a while. It all came as a big surprise to me as I do not expect a mum like me to still have "admirers". Although I turned him down but since then my confidence grew and I started enjoying the fact that I can still attract male attention.

Six months ago, I met William. I was very much attracted to him, physically and sexually. We started Ex affair partner wants to be friends texting back and forth, first with light and gentle flirting. We met up for a few drinks now and again and have a good time laughing and flirting.

Then it soon developed into a bit more and more and then more. I am not one into casual flings or reckless, irresponsible behaviour but then suddenly before I realise, I found myself having an affair with William. A proper full blown affair. By the time I asked myself "what have I done? I have already slept with him. I know it was all principally and morally wrong.

I know I have done something very bad and my husband would not forgive me if he knows what had happened. I asked myself what do I want from this relationship with William? Is it just purely for sex? Physically, we both look good together and we are both in lust with each other although William said its not just about that.

He said he cares about me and wanted to see me every weekend. He kept telling me he misses me whenever he is not with me and he would send me daily texts messages which were all very sweet to read. I thought I was falling for William because I can't get him out of my mind and I really love being with him.

I am so attracted to him that no one else can catch my attention because my heart and mind is just set on him alone. The problem is I can't seem to leave my marriage because I don't want to break my family apart and let my kids and husband down. What I have is beautiful and to destroy it could be the biggest mistake and regret in my life. Yet I can't stop contact with William no matter how hard I tried, I always ended up going back to him again and again. It is like an addiction. Maybe I am in love with him but I am just in self denial.

Although William has told me he loves me but he doesn't convince me enough that our relationship has a future. Although I can see myself on my own with him but I can't see my children in the picture. William is a single guy, still Ex affair partner wants to be friends a bachelor life and there is no way he would swap his convertible two seater sports car into a family car.

Everything in his life is that of a bachelor; even his bachelor pad is so unchild-friendly and immaculate that I can't even imagine my kids sitting on his leather creamy sofa. I can't even see him swapping his bachelor pad to a family home. All s are telling me is I am a "current" girl he is currently seeing until he finds himself a single girl he is willing to settle down with.

I have somehow raised that issue in a joking way with him and of course he denied it. I didn't press him more because I don't want to spoil the fun between us. Also I felt I have no right to press him for commitment when I myself am still married.

He did say to me before that I should make my mind up on what I want in life or with my relationship and he is jealous to imagine sharing me. There is no sharing. I have become even more emotionally and physically detached from my husband. Thinking back over the years, we have grown apart emotionally and intimately. There is hardly any connection between us and I am no longer attracted to my husband in a sexual way. No matter how I want to try with him again but I just couldn't find myself interested in the whole idea.

I think its because I am so distracted having William around. Sooner or later this is going to come out and my husband will find out what I have been doing. I really have to decide what I want in life but at the moment its nearly like saying wanting to have the cake and eat it. In my dream, if I can, I would just walk away from my marriage and start a new life with William but I cant leave my children behind and it pains me to imagine letting my husband down because it would be a blow to him. It would kill him if I leave. Also, is William the kind of guy who is worth sacrificing for?

That question has been hanging on my head. If I leave my marriage for a guy who is worth every tear and pain and manage to have a good relationship and lead a happier life with Should I confront William and ask him to be honest with me on what he wants?

He got to give me some kind of commitment. Part of me thinks if he can't commit on a long term thing with me and include my kids in, then he is a waste of time and effort. He is just not worth it. But to raise all these with him mean potentially I am at risk of losing the fun I can have with him.

And if he said yes he is ready to commit, do I really have the heart and courage to leave my marriage and tear all their world apart? Please please please have anyone been through similar experience or can someone wake me up? Ask the community sex, cheating, marriage. I just found my boyfriend masturbating over a girl online. He was using his webcam and it was obvious they were both at it. Please help, I feel so betrayed and don't know what to do. Anyone have any advice?

Ex affair partner wants to be friends

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Remaining friends with affair partner? Possible?