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Most people want to belong and connect with others, especially people they care about. The pain can cut pretty deep, too. In fact, rejection appears to activate the same regions in the brain that physical pain does. But fearing rejection can hold you back from taking risks and reaching for big goals. Here are some tips to get you started. Rejection is a pretty universal experience, and fear of rejection is very common, explains Brian Jonesa therapist in Seattle.
Most people experience rejection over things both big and small at least a few times in their lives, such as:. Reminding yourself that rejection is just a normal part of life — something everyone will face at some point — may help you fear it less. No matter the source of the rejection, it still hurts. Other people might see what happened as no big deal and encourage you to get over it, but the pain might linger, especially if you happen to have a higher sensitivity to rejection.
It may not seem like it right away, but rejection can provide opportunities for self-discovery and growth. This might devastate you at first. Reframing your fear as a chance for growth can make it easier to try for what you want and lessen the pain if you fail. Rejection can be particularly frightening when you read too much into it. Consider giving yourself a couple of actionable backup plans or coming up with counterarguments to some of your main fears.
Realizing this can help you prioritize developing strong friendshipstoo, which can help insulate you against loneliness. Going for what you want gives you the chance to experience success. You might experience rejection — but then again, you might not. This is part of exposure therapy. You can try this yourself, but a therapist can also help you create a list and work through it. But this just reinforces your belief that the rejection was your fault when it may have had nothing to do with you at all. Spending time with people who care about you can reinforce your knowledge that you are, in fact, wanted.
Knowing your loved ones have your back, no matter what happens, can make the possibility of rejection seem less scary. It may be time to consider reaching out to a therapist if your fear of rejection:. Rejection can sting and make you doubt yourself. But fearing it may limit you, preventing you from experiencing much of what life has to offer. Pain usually fades in time, and this pain is no exception. In a year or even a few months, it may no longer matter very much. Crystal Raypole has ly worked as a writer and editor for GoodTherapy. Her fields of interest include Asian languages and literature, Japanese translation, cooking, natural sciences, sex positivity, and mental health.
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Medically reviewed by Timothy J. Legg, Ph. Remember that it happens to everyone. Validate your feelings. Look for the learning opportunity. Remind yourself of your worth. Keep things in perspective. Figure out what really scares you about rejection. Face your fear.
Reject negative self-talk. Lean on your support network. Talk to a professional. The bottom line. Read this next. Medically reviewed by Janet Brito, Ph. Defining and Overcoming a Fear of Intimacy. Medically reviewed by Karin Gepp, PsyD. Read This. Medically reviewed by Vara Saripalli, Psy. The 10 Best Self-Help Books for Women in These self-help books for women are filled with self-improvement advice and strategies to change your mindset.
Medically reviewed by Alex Klein, PsyD.Rejection issues relationship
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10 Tips for Overcoming Your Fear of Rejection